A digital illustration of two hands shaking. One hand is light beige with black grid lines, the other hand is a range of colors. Behind the hands are pieces of patterns in black and white, fashioned like clip art.

As co-leaders, we are like artists working on the same piece. Chantal is line and ink, bringing structure and clarity. Linda brings in different mediums and splotches of color that make it possible for us to try new things.

by Chantal Hildebrand and Linda Lu

This article was originally published by Alliance for Girls on Medium here.

Our relationship to power is complicated.

As women of color, throughout our childhoods, careers and in most environments, power has been used to oppress us, control us, and dictate how we can be in different spaces. Again and again, we were told and shown: power is not for you — a belief that was showcased again in this most recent U.S. election.

“…the ways in which we’ve seen power operate have been deeply deeply harmful. And …there is a dynamic in our movements that takes that distrust and makes it almost one of our laws or principles — that we should be distrustful of power, we should never exercise power over another person.
But the problem is, that’s not actually true. Power is operating all the time, in many different contexts and forms. And so, maybe instead of trying to avoid power, we should figure out, what are we trying to transform it into?”
- Alicia Garza

The most prominent model of leadership we’ve seen focuses on finding ways to have more power over more people — and in turn, to control, oppress, and dictate how others should be. This type of leadership is steeped in the white supremacy culture of a deep sense of urgency, an immense amount of control, bigger is better thinking and a simplistic view that there is only one right way to be an effective leader. This “right” way is to lead with certainty, even when you are uncertain, with power concentrated at the top, and with a singular vision for the organization, which all other team members are then incentivized to achieve.

And yet, true leadership is not about power and control. It is a balance between vision and journey, rooted in expansiveness, evolution, and always in service to uniting, uplifting and caring for the collective.

Afraid to Fail

In the fall of 2023, we were appointed as the Co-Executive Directors of Alliance for Girls, an organization that aims to create a world where girls and gender-expansive youth, especially those of color, are valued, respected, and safe, through youth-led research, storytelling, and collective advocacy. We strive to actualize girl-driven recommendations within our organization, while we advocate for these same recommendations to be adopted at the local, county and state levels.

Photo of Chantal Hildebrand and Linda Lu standing in front of a pink structure. Chantal is a Black woman wearing a black top and pants and a cream-colored coat. Linda is an East Asian woman wearing a black tank and cream-colored trousers. — Linda Lu and Chantal Hildebrand, Co-Executive Directors of Alliance for Girls (Photo by Chanell Stone)

Our organization’s theory of change is based on “Imagined Communities,” an influential concept drawn from Sociologist Chandra Mohanty’s scholarship. It challenges dominant and oppressive universal truths that often erase or distort marginalized communities. An Imagined Community starts by collectively gathering knowledge and sharing it for the benefit of all. It aligns and brings together coalitions and solidarities, transcending borders and conceptualizing power as fluid and evolving.

As Alliance for Girls’ first leads of color, our appointment as Co-Executive Directors was momentous for the organization, our community, and also for us. We looked forward to trying something new, to reimagine our community, to lean into our power and wield it for transformation and growth rather than control. Simultaneously, we were nervous to fail, let down our team, disappoint the board and our community. Honestly both these excitements and worries still remain a year into this journey.

“When I dare to be powerful — to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
- Audre Lorde

Before we were appointed, we proposed the potential of our co-leadership to the board of Alliance for Girls. We were the only applicants who applied as co-leaders, and we went through the same rounds of interviews and vetting as those applying on their own, as well as some extra steps to showcase our collective vision. We wanted to merge our respective organizations, by combining the strength of Alliance for Girls and its long-term partner organization, Evaluation Studio, led by Linda.

We would continue the powerful work our organizations have always done, but also create a work environment that mirrors the communities that girls and gender-expansive youth of color themselves want to see — spaces where they feel heard, valued, and safe; where authenticity and humility are central; and where accountability and transparency are part of the core values.

As an organization serving girls and gender expansive youth, we knew it wasn’t enough to just dream of the change we wanted to see for the next generation, but to live it, breathe it, practice it. And the board gave us this opportunity.

Power in Leadership

Nonprofit organizations have a history of — and reputation for — creating harm for their employees, especially staff of color. We have both seen and experienced this first-hand. While externally, the impact of nonprofit work can be meaningful and inspiring, internally, many organizations promote and maintain organizational cultures and environments that can be toxic. Power in nonprofit spaces is often concentrated at the top and used to dictate the vision of a few, while drowning out the voices and experiences of those who are most underrepresented or are in positions the furthest from formal power in the hierarchy. Simultaneously, the few in power can also misconstrue and override the voices and needs of the community they purport to serve, making decisions that maintain structures of imperialism and white supremacy.

“Each one of us is here now because in one way or another we share a commitment to language and to the power language, and to the reclaiming of that language which has been made to work against us.”
- Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider

We define power as the ability to make change and the capacity to get things done. Given our multiple and intersecting identities, including our interracial partnership, we are often in negotiation about how being in relationship to power and having power in itself can be liberating. We’re also deeply aware that having power as two women of color, one Black and one East Asian, means that expectations for us as leaders, by our funders, team, the nonprofit sector and community at large, are very high and it opens us up to significant scrutiny — oftentimes more than our White counterparts.

Early in our new roles, we knew that we didn’t want to replicate the same structures and dynamics where power is hoarded and wielded without our team and communities in mind. As we reflected on what that could look like, we worked with Viveka Chen, co-founder of co-LAB Collective — a Black and Asian queer, woman of color-led organizational justice consulting and coaching group.

With her, we co-created a framework of the power spectrum, which we use to help us interrogate our practices and keep us accountable to one another, our staff, and our larger community. It was inspired from readings by Cyndi Suarez and Alicia Garza.

An image titled "POWER SPECTRUM". On the left is a blue water-like image labeled "CLEAN POWER" that fades into a yellowish-green with black dots labeled "MURKY POWER", which fades into a dark green with lots of black dots labeled "DIRTY POWER"

We speak of power on a spectrum between “clean,” “murky,” and “dirty” power, where it is not static, but each decision and action where power is being wielded can fall anywhere on this spectrum. “Clean” power centers what the collective “we” wants and “dirty” power is rooted in domination, how to hold onto power and the need to control things and people, “murky” power sits between these two. This spectrum serves as a tool to hold ourselves accountable to the type of leaders we want to be. It offers a shared language to have crucial conversations about our power, leadership, and actions, in relationship to our values and our collective goals.

What We’ve Learned So Far by Doing It Our Way

“Our” way of leadership is not new, and it is not just ours. It is not an innovation we can take credit for, and this is not a novel topic for a thought piece. Co-leadership and authentic leadership have been done before, and will continue to exist long after us. Co-leadership is, however, intrinsically linked to who we are. It is in our bones and our ancestry and therefore a part of us. That is why it feels like it is ours.

It is born from numerous social movements, Black feminism, and Indigenous communities, and is reflected in the teachings of the Combahee River Collective, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, adrienne maree brown, Chandra Mohanty, Savannah Shange, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Stacy Abrams and Buddhist and Taoist texts. We have learned from the activists and organizers who came before us, all working for a more equitable existence.

“There’s nothing new under the sun, but there are new suns.”
- Octavia E. Butler, the unpublished Parable of a Trickster

In the past year, with our co-leadership practice, we have grown and evolved in unexpected ways, and we want to share our observations of this experience. Consider it an offering if you are looking to challenge norms of leadership in your own ways, and to further build on the work that came before us. So far, we have learned:

Choose your co-leader
We applied for the roles together, as a unit. While we share a collective vision, values and goals, we approach things differently. It’s as if we are two artists working on the same piece. Chantal is line and ink. She thrives in structure and clarity and helps build guardrails and composition for the organization. Linda is more abstract — bringing in new mediums and splotches of color that make it possible for us to try new things and lean into learning, change and growth. Both are needed to enhance the skills of the other and stay true to our values as we meet our collective goals. This is why it would be incredibly difficult to become a co-leader with somebody else picking your partner for you.
Make space for regular self-reflection and self-awareness
A common misconception is that co-leadership is somehow half the work, and having two people makes the job easier. It actually takes a lot of work to be in a co-leadership relationship, but it’s worth it. Being in a co-leadership position requires an immense amount of self-reflection, self-awareness, accountability, and openness to change, be flexible and adaptive. It is really easy to slip into old habits and accidentally replicate the same structures, systems and processes that do not serve us and our community. Co-leaders have to be willing to be vulnerable and transparent — open with their insecurities and fears — and be able to trust that this other person has your back. This makes leadership less lonely, but it also requires a great deal of honest communication.
Clearly define your responsibilities and decision-making areas
Throughout this past year, we have delineated which each one of us “leads” and which one of us “supports” on different streams of work. Perfection is not the aim of this journey — clarity and a mutual consideration of labor are. In order for those goals to be met, we make sure to share these changes and what they mean with our team and be open to feedback and adapting.
Make the invisible work visible
Convincing external stakeholders of the value of co-leadership — including boards, donors and funders — can be difficult. Though some funders, nonprofit management groups, and nonprofit leaders have asked us to speak about our co-leadership model, and are excited about it, actually getting financial support and buy-in for it is still a struggle. The benefits of co-leadership are not always visible. Nevertheless, we hope to bring visibility to the benefits, opportunities and process of co-leadership both with the writing of this essay and also with speaking engagements we’ve done. And we, like so many other co-leaders we’ve met, need support.
Create a support network
For the first 6 months of our co-leadership journey, we worked with Viveka to ground our leadership. This was crucial for our personal growth and for building a foundation for effective leadership for the organization. We also continually invest in our relationship by prioritizing our own team building and non-structured time to be together (such as monthly Co-Executive Director “dates”); we facilitate time and space in the organization for collective reflection and learning each quarter; we practice moving through conflict with each other in alignment with our values; and we share leadership across the organization to foster creativity and growth. We have also learned that co-leadership cannot happen in isolation. Both of us have a network of folks outside of Alliance for Girls who support us.

As we continue this journey, we are looking to create a community of co-leaders who can come together to share what we’ve learned, the struggles we face, and tools and resources that can help.

It’s Not for Everyone

Co-leadership is increasingly prevalent in the organizations we work with and across the nonprofit sector. In September 2024, Chantal was asked to speak at the Stanford Social Innovation Review’s 19th Annual Nonprofit Management Institute event, on a panel about co-leadership. And yet we maintain co-leadership is not the answer for everyone or every organization.

It makes sense for the two of us, and this moment for our organization, but it is not the only answer. We are trying to create a world where leadership is shared and we are working towards collective communities where we as leaders can create the conditions and structures for ourselves and others to flourish, rather than relying on the normative structures and dynamics that have yet to serve or uplift our communities, nor women of color as leaders themselves.

Leaning into Untethered Creativity

Co-leadership does not happen in a vacuum — it requires time, space and support.

Image w/ text: Our Co-Leadership Model is Rooted in these Values: Joy in what we do, Creativity in the work, Freedom & care to show up as our whole selves, Trust as the foundation of relationships, Safety & support, Mutual consideration of labor

What we are doing today in our leadership, together, is an intentional rejection of leadership models that uphold saviorism and the superwoman complex. Instead, we’re leaning into the discomfort of spaciousness and creativity.

“There is an art to flocking: staying separate enough not to crowd each other, aligned enough to maintain a shared direction, and cohesive enough to always move towards each other.”
- adrienne maree brown, Emergent Strategy

We hope that the girls and gender expansive youth — especially those of color — and the organizations that serve them in our network, will look at our leadership and our organization and think: we can do this, too. It is possible to move away from individualism and towards collectivism. There is a way for us to uplift one another, as a rising up for us all — which is needed now more than ever.

Our goal, even in our small corner of the world, is to create a new normal for the next generation we serve — one where leadership is shared, accountability is woven in, and power is for any of us and all of us, together.

Donate to Alliance for Girls
Support our work to uplift girls and gender expansive youth.

Set up a call with Chantal and Linda
Reach out to get to know us and learn about ways to support Alliance for Girls.

Art by Njoki Gitahi

Photography by Chanell Stone

Storytelling by Public Access